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The unspoken difficulties when a family member passes away

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Exactly a year ago, I cleaned up my house, put everything into storage, listed my home for sale, and moved to Oklahoma to care for my mother during what we believed would be the last year of her life. She was on hospice and wasn’t expected to live much longer. Before I arrived, we had already dealt with neighbors stealing her retirement money, her car, family heirlooms, and draining her bank accounts. What I wasn’t prepared for was the condition she was living in. My children had arranged in-home care for her and assured me she was being taken care of, that everything was fine. It wasn’t fine. The house was filled with urine, dirty adult diapers, feces, mice, cockroaches, garbage, and overwhelming filth. My mother had wasted away to skin and bones. On top of that, dementia had changed her completely. She became cruel in ways I still struggle to process, and some of the things she said to me continue to haunt me. I had imagined arriving to find her bedridden and mostly unaware. Instead,...
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Glitches in the Hiring Process

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This morning I received another job rejection. What made this one different is that the hiring committee had already told me I interviewed well and had strong experience for the role. But like several other interviews over the past few months, the result was the same. It’s hard not to start asking bigger questions about what is happening in the hiring process today. Many companies and organizations are now using AI-driven tools to filter applications before a human ever reviews them. These systems are designed to increase efficiency, but they also raise an important question: what happens when algorithms start deciding which candidates are “ideal”? I’ve also had conversations with several friends and colleagues over 40 who are experiencing the same pattern. Strong resumes. Positive interviews. Then a final rejection after in-person meetings. It makes you wonder if we are unintentionally overlooking one of the most valuable assets in the workforce: experience. Experienced p...
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Pandora's Box

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I reread the story of Pandora’s Box this week, and for the first time I noticed something I had never seen before.  In Greek mythology, Pandora’s Box refers to a jar that contained all the evils of the world, released by Pandora, the first woman created by the gods. Pandora was created by Hephaestus, the god of craftsmanship, at the request of Zeus, the king of the gods. Her creation was part of Zeus’s punishment for humanity after Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to mankind. Each god bestowed a gift upon Pandora, making her irresistible. She was given to Epimetheus, Prometheus’s brother, as a wife—despite Prometheus’s warning never to accept gifts from the gods. Pandora was left to care for a sealed jar. When she opened it, sickness, death, and many other evils escaped into the world. Though she quickly tried to close it, only one thing remained inside: Hope . For much of my life, I have described the trauma I carry as the devils inside my own Pandora’s box. When t...
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It's the beginning of a New Year, will it be our last?

 It is a phenomenal feeling of going to sleep on the last day of the year 2023 and wonder will the world still be around when I awake into the new year of 2024.  I am heartbroken and speechless on the wickedness, turmoil, and hate we are experiencing worldwide.  I realize we are at the point in the timeline of humanity that we must go through this hell to reach the glory that we can become.   But as a listen to the Traveling Wilbury's sing of going to the end of the line, I realize we will get through this time of hopelessness. No matter the horrors we witness, may we always be willing to get on our knees and pray for the Lord to accompany us through the darkness.  May we be the light to the world, continually having hope and love to those suffering.   Even if the world should continue to collapse as it has done in civilizations past, hold to God, have faith that we will rejoice together again.  
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A New Beginning

 It has been a long time since posting, I broke my left wrist twice now and typing is not easy with a cast.  The first time I tore a tendon and crushed my hand and had to learn to do everything with my dominant hand once again.  I was just getting back to being able to lift weights and do yoga when two weeks ago I tripped over a buckled sidewalk and am now back in a cast one again.  I could look at this as a set back, having to wait six more weeks before heading back to yoga and weight lifting.  Instead I choose to look at this as a new beginning. I am focusing on all that I can achieve at this moment. I am learning to use my right hand more and finding that forcing myself to be ambidextrous is increasing my mental skills.  I am taking online geology classes, I followed a dream and contacted a restaurant about purchasing my food products, and contacted a ghost writer to help me write a book about my life.   These are things I dreamed of doing, and...
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The Pain a Victim Who Testifies Against the Perpetrator

 In 2016, I had my dream jobs, I owned a successful catering business and was a park ranger in the summer.  I had friends that I loved dearly and enjoyed being with, my house was paid off and life was pretty good.  Then one day I received a call from my cousin telling me my dad had been arrested.  I couldn't believe it, we had tried for years to get something to stick on dad, and finally he was caught red handed.  I was working at Bryce Canyon when the Bureau of Investigations called and warned me of my dad's threats on my life.  Soon after I had strange people show up at the park looking for me.  I had 15 minutes to leave with all my belongings and hit the road.  Life became hell at this point. I ended living in my car for several months, moving place to place to get away from my dad's contacts.  I had to change my name, leave my friends and family and go into hiding.  I finally landed in Boise, Idaho and the postmaster there gave me a ...
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There is no tolerance in intolerance

 Who could believe that the world would be such a crazy place in one short year?  Last year provided a view of the ugliness of human nature in its rawest form.  We attacked each other for every small detail, from the fear of spreading germs, to the fear of the color of one's skin.  We use social media as a way to anonymously destroy other human beings, creating a forum that encourages self doubt, self hate, and self destruction.  Honestly, I slightly ashamed at being a human being.   I believe we are so much more than this behavior.  I saw the term "cancel culture" create an environment of censorship that is constructed not by a government entity, but by individuals with a destructive agenda. We are trying to enforce tolerance through intolerant behavior.  This idealism was the heart of Nazi Germany's Third Reich.  I was a docent for the Ann Frank exhibit years ago, and the idea to condemn people for their genetic birthright, to be intol...
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