Memorial Day - Remembering the Living along with Honoring the dead

 

Remembering the Living on Memorial Day

By an Air Force Mom

Department of Veterans Affairs statistics show there are more than 22 million veterans in the United States, nearly 10 percent of them women. The majority of surviving veterans today are from the Vietnam War era, though within the next decade Gulf War veterans are expected to become the largest group.

Those numbers stunned me.

Like many Americans, I grew up thinking of veterans primarily as the generation that fought in World War II. Movies, documentaries, and history books shaped my understanding of war and sacrifice. But statistics have a way of making history suddenly feel very personal.

Today, just over one million WWII veterans are still living, and hundreds pass away every day. What Tom Brokaw called “The Greatest Generation” is disappearing before our eyes. It is difficult to imagine that in another twenty or thirty years, we will be saying the same thing about Vietnam veterans.

It makes me wonder:

Will we finally show them the respect they deserve before they are gone?

Every person who has served in military conflict deserves gratitude and respect.

I have two close friends who deployed to Afghanistan. One served as a combat medic. He watched fellow soldiers die around him while trying desperately to save them. Even under enemy fire, he often had to wait for permission to return fire himself. In the chaos of combat, there is rarely time for permission.

My other friend learned quickly that war changes the way you see the world. He was raised as a Southern gentleman, taught to trust and protect women. In Afghanistan, he learned that some women wearing burkas were carrying weapons. That realization changed him forever.

Both men returned home carrying scars that cannot always be seen.

One has since retired. The other counted the days until the end of his service, praying he would never have to return to the mayhem. They are not the veterans many people picture on Memorial Day. They are younger. They are still raising families, paying mortgages, and trying to build normal lives after surviving extraordinary circumstances.

We honor the dead, but too often we forget the living.

Right now, more than 40 percent of American veterans are age 65 or older. That represents millions of people who witnessed the horrors of war and, in many cases, still carry those memories through recurring nightmares and silent struggles.

But nearly 60 percent are younger than 65.

They are our coworkers, neighbors, parents, and friends.

Many are still searching for stability after military service. Some struggle to find employment that matches their skills. Others are fighting battles that followed them home — PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, burns, amputations, spinal injuries, and emotional trauma that never fully fades.

And those are only the injuries that get reported.

Many veterans never seek help at all.

The military suicide rate continues to be heartbreaking. For some veterans, the weight of war becomes heavier after they return home than it ever was on the battlefield.

That reality should trouble all of us.

I have seen this struggle firsthand through friends I love. At the same time, I have watched my own son become a commissioned Air Force officer, feeling deeply that it is his duty to serve and protect others. Every night I pray for his safety. I understand the desire to defend freedom, but I will never stop hating war itself.

This Memorial Day, while we gather with family, pack for the lake, or stand around backyard barbecues, I hope we remember more than the names engraved on gravestones.

Remember the living too.

Remember the millions of veterans who returned home carrying burdens most of us will never fully understand. Remember the families who wait through deployments, celebrate safe returns, and quietly fear the next phone call.

Show veterans they are not forgotten once the uniform comes off.

Volunteer. Donate. Listen to their stories. Hire them. Support programs that help wounded veterans and military families. Put flowers on graves, fly the flag, visit memorials, and participate in moments of remembrance.

But most importantly, thank the living along with the dead.

Because they fought for all of us.

Happy Memorial Day — from an Air Force mom.