Being By Believing

I believe there are people who come to this earth programmed with their faith in God.  I have this belief because I am one of them.  My dad was an avid atheist, he didn't need a supreme being in his life, he was just fine on his own.  My mom was raised First Christian, by parents who were very strong in their belief in God and served in their church up until the day they died.  Mom was not really strong in her faith of God, she would flow with whatever group she was with at the moment.  For her religion was a social thing, church was a place to make friends. Or in the case of her children it was a great place to find free babysitting. Every summer when she needed someone to watch my brother and I while she was at work, she would sign us up for Bible Camp at every church in town.  We would go to one in the morning, then be delivered to another for the afternoon.  On the days Bible Camp wasn't going on, she would drop us off at the local swimming pool ...

I am constantly learning about who I am.  I am in never-ending change mode with my life, but I am happy to say I finally have stopped trying to be "good enough" for other people.  I spent my whole childhood and pretty much most of my adult life trying to be the person that other people would like and accept.  I was told by my father, I was stupid. I was told by my brother I was ugly and fat.  I was told by my mother I was too klutzy to be a dancer and too much of a tomboy to be a real lady.  I never compared to my brother by my parents and paternal grandparents. He was the golden boy, my mom's "baby" and I was the child that should have been aborted.  My paternal grandmother said I was "too big" and she didn't really like girls.  I am an inch and a half short of six foot; the women on my father's side of the family were an inch short of five foot. My mom was considered a giant by her family because she was five foot seven, all of her cousin...

I grew in up in a time that seems nonexistent nowadays.  I guess my brother and I would be considered part of the first latchkey kids. Mom and dad both worked full time and daycare centers didn't exist.  We took care of ourselves after school let out until one of the parents arrived home.  This wasn't exactly the best scenario for kids, I have scars on three of my fingers where my brother and I fought over who would wash the dishes and who would dry.  We were around 6 and 8 years old and both hated the part of washing the dishes.  Which seems strange now, there wasn't much difference between washing and drying, but it was a big thing back then. Being the little sister it was usually my job to wash, but somehow I got the lucky straw and was drying the dishes that afternoon.  We were living in Tucson, Arizona, I was probably in the first or second grade, my brother, while two years older, was just one school grade ahead of me.  Dad was at work and mom...

When I was 12 years old, my family lived in Fairbanks, Alaska and my dad was a professor at the University of Alaska.  Every weekend he would bring home a movie projector from his office along with 8 mm movie reels of various movies he could check out from the campus library. I realize most people have no clue what I am talking about so I have inserted a picture to give you an idea of an 8 mm movie projector.   We didn't have a television at that time, and so this was our family's entertainment during the long winters.  One of the movies my father brought home was called, "You Pack Your Own Chute." It was a documentary of a lady who decided that in order to become a stronger person, she needed to overcome her fear of heights, and learning how to skydive would be the way to do it.  During her lessons on how to skydive, the instructor told her that most skydivers packed their own chutes so they were confident that it was safe and secure.  They didn't rely on so...