Being By Believing

 It has been a long time since posting, I broke my left wrist twice now and typing is not easy with a cast.  The first time I tore a tendon and crushed my hand and had to learn to do everything with my dominant hand once again.  I was just getting back to being able to lift weights and do yoga when two weeks ago I tripped over a buckled sidewalk and am now back in a cast one again.  I could look at this as a set back, having to wait six more weeks before heading back to yoga and weight lifting.  Instead I choose to look at this as a new beginning. I am focusing on all that I can achieve at this moment. I am learning to use my right hand more and finding that forcing myself to be ambidextrous is increasing my mental skills.  I am taking online geology classes, I followed a dream and contacted a restaurant about purchasing my food products, and contacted a ghost writer to help me write a book about my life.   These are things I dreamed of doing, and...

 In 2016, I had my dream jobs, I owned a successful catering business and was a park ranger in the summer.  I had friends that I loved dearly and enjoyed being with, my house was paid off and life was pretty good.  Then one day I received a call from my cousin telling me my dad had been arrested.  I couldn't believe it, we had tried for years to get something to stick on dad, and finally he was caught red handed.  I was working at Bryce Canyon when the Bureau of Investigations called and warned me of my dad's threats on my life.  Soon after I had strange people show up at the park looking for me.  I had 15 minutes to leave with all my belongings and hit the road.  Life became hell at this point. I ended living in my car for several months, moving place to place to get away from my dad's contacts.  I had to change my name, leave my friends and family and go into hiding.  I finally landed in Boise, Idaho and the postmaster there gave me a ...

 Who could believe that the world would be such a crazy place in one short year?  Last year provided a view of the ugliness of human nature in its rawest form.  We attacked each other for every small detail, from the fear of spreading germs, to the fear of the color of one's skin.  We use social media as a way to anonymously destroy other human beings, creating a forum that encourages self doubt, self hate, and self destruction.  Honestly, I slightly ashamed at being a human being.   I believe we are so much more than this behavior.  I saw the term "cancel culture" create an environment of censorship that is constructed not by a government entity, but by individuals with a destructive agenda. We are trying to enforce tolerance through intolerant behavior.  This idealism was the heart of Nazi Germany's Third Reich.  I was a docent for the Ann Frank exhibit years ago, and the idea to condemn people for their genetic birthright, to be intol...

We live in a world where it has become common to criticize and condemn people for any little thing, real or imagined.  Social media has brought strangers into people's lives, connecting us in ways that are caustic and dangerous.  When social media started out, the ability to connect with long lost friends and family was wonderful.  Then having people from all around the world instantly send feedback on a post filled that void of loneliness, providing that acceptance that is not found in our small world of familiarity. Somewhere in the midst of this new way to connect with the world, things went awry.  Soon the same toxic behavior that occurs in our personal world infiltrated social media, and hate overtook the joy that came with this personal connection.  People began spreading lies, hate, and condemnation on every portal of this medium.  Like a silent disease, this blackness of the human soul infiltrated every part of our lives.  Parts of our everyd...

When a person has never experienced trauma enters into a relationship, their sub-conscious is able to view each new relationship as a good experience, something to look at with love. On the other hand, if a person has had trauma in a past relationship, their sub-conscious views all new relationship as a potential bad experience, something to look at with fear. Unless a person uses their conscious brain, and faces the past trauma, it will continue to cause that person to look at all potential relationships through the lenses of pain and fear.  Even if the relationship is a good one, and the other person is bringing only love and friendship into the relationship, trauma will cause drama.  If the person who has experienced trauma is unable to see problems and issues in a current relationship, the victim persona that has been created in the sub-conscious will put the same traumatic behavior from the past into the new relationship. (False Evidence Appearing Real) Traum...

I received a call earlier this week from the mom of one of my dear friends. "Happy?" she asked. "Yes," I said, wondering why she was calling; it had been over three years since we had talked. "Sheila asked me to tell you that Hunter passed away this morning," she said, her voice breaking. My heart sunk, "How?" She began to stutter, not finding the right words. "He decided to go back to Heaven on his own," I said. "Yes," she sobbed. I immediately rushed to be with Sheila, so many questions running through my mind.  The one that kept coming back was, "Why?"  I hadn't been to see Sheila and her kids since she married her new husband.  I figured they were happy and didn't need the intrusion, since they were still relatively newlyweds.  I was part of Sheila’s past, when we were neighbors in a condominium complex, and her first husband was dying from the complications of diabetes.  We were such cl...