Being By Believing

When a person has never experienced trauma enters into a relationship, their sub-conscious is able to view each new relationship as a good experience, something to look at with love. On the other hand, if a person has had trauma in a past relationship, their sub-conscious views all new relationship as a potential bad experience, something to look at with fear. Unless a person uses their conscious brain, and faces the past trauma, it will continue to cause that person to look at all potential relationships through the lenses of pain and fear.  Even if the relationship is a good one, and the other person is bringing only love and friendship into the relationship, trauma will cause drama.  If the person who has experienced trauma is unable to see problems and issues in a current relationship, the victim persona that has been created in the sub-conscious will put the same traumatic behavior from the past into the new relationship. (False Evidence Appearing Real) Traum...

I received a call earlier this week from the mom of one of my dear friends. "Happy?" she asked. "Yes," I said, wondering why she was calling; it had been over three years since we had talked. "Sheila asked me to tell you that Hunter passed away this morning," she said, her voice breaking. My heart sunk, "How?" She began to stutter, not finding the right words. "He decided to go back to Heaven on his own," I said. "Yes," she sobbed. I immediately rushed to be with Sheila, so many questions running through my mind.  The one that kept coming back was, "Why?"  I hadn't been to see Sheila and her kids since she married her new husband.  I figured they were happy and didn't need the intrusion, since they were still relatively newlyweds.  I was part of Sheila’s past, when we were neighbors in a condominium complex, and her first husband was dying from the complications of diabetes.  We were such cl...

One of the hardest things for a victim of sexual abuse to do is to tell another person what happened to them.  It tears open all the wounds of the heart, putting every terror, every pain, every nightmare, out into the open for all to see and to judge you.  Whether the judgment is of compassion and support, or ridicule and doubt, it still is a judgment.  Trust can be built or ripped away just by how another person responds to hearing of the abuse. I know a lot of people have used the #metoo movement to share their pain of abuse and that is a great start toward healing.  But hiding behind social media will not always remove the scars of abuse.  It is having to remove all of the barriers we hide behind and truly facing the abuse that starts the path to healing.  The quote "facing our demons" truly comes to mind in dealing with abuse. In high school I told a peer about the abuse happening in my life, in hopes of finding support and possibly a way to heal....